New Inductees into Justin and Malone’s “Hall of Records”


We knew Ranch fans would come through for us on this one, and we were not disappointed.  It’s not very often that we allow a tie in the Hall of Records, but frankly, we weren’t sure what else to do with these two calls.   Congratulations to Coop Cooper of Denton and Dallas Bartts of Sunset, who enthralled us with their very different — although equally horrifying — jail experiences.  Listen below to find out why you should NEVER go to jail.

Coop’s “Interesting” Experience in a Mexican Prison:

Dallas’ “Interesting” Experience in a South Texas prison:

(February 20, 2019)



Justin and I think it is outrageous to expect you to keep a New Year’s resolution for an entire year.  Frankly, we’re impressed if you can keep it for a couple of days.  As a result, the Ranch fans who reported that they have kept their resolution so far were inducted into the Justin and Malone “Hall of Records.”

Congratulations to Dalton King of Alvord, Mike Wilson of Fort Worth, and Jack Morgan of Fort Worth.  To find out what resolutions earned them this honor (and why Jack received this honor 5 times), listen to what they told us on the radio below:

(January 3, 2019)



This one may win in an additional category of GROSSEST deep dark secret.  Seriously, do not eat while you listen to this.  For this Hall of Records contest, we changed the voices and names of the callers to protect the guilty.

Congratulations to our newest inductee, to whom we will affectionately refer as the “Anonymous S#%t Kicker.”  To find out what secret won this honor, take a listen:



(October 3, 2018)



Congratulations to TWO new inductees into the Justin and Malone “Hall of Records”: Damon Kunkel of Joshua, Texas and Mocha, the Dog, of Burleson, Texas!  To find out what Damon and Mocha did over the summer to receive their honors, tune in below:

(August 17, 2018)



Congratulations to our newest (and youngest) member of the esteemed Justin and Malone “Hall of Records.”  Dakota Starnes of Argyle rightfully earned his place in history and on the Ranch website  by telling us why he thinks he has the most stressful job  ever.  To hear what it is, play the audio below:

(August 15, 2018)



Congratulations to “Flex-Tape Man,” who works at Racetrac in North Richland Hills!  You have been awarded the title of “Coworker with the Most Annoying Habit” in the Justin and Malone “Hall of Records”!  You can thank Jacob, your coworker, for submitting your name and paving the way for you to receive this honor.

If you would like to hear what Flex-Tape Man does that is so annoying, check out the audio below.  And if you haven’t seen the commercial,  just click on the link below the audio!

(August 8, 2018)



The Ranch proudly congratulates our newest member of the Justin and Malone “Hall of Records”!  To protect the name of the innocent, we fondly refer to him as the unnamed police officer from the unnamed police department in an unnamed location.”

To find out what (stinky) excuse convinced him to NOT give a ticket to a speeding driver, take a listen below.  And once again, congrats to “the unnamed police officer from the unnamed police department in an unnamed location”!  Your name will never be forgotten!

(July 11, 2018)



Congratulations to Gary Murray of Lipan, Texas!  He is the first entry in the newly created “Hall of Records” with Justin and Malone in the Morning!

Gary won this coveted place in history by having the worst summer job of all of the Ranchers who called in today — namely, cleaning out dead fish from an oil soaked pond in blue jeans.

If you would like to hear how the competition went down, just check out the below audio.  And again, kudos to Gary Murray on making the JAM Hall of Records in the “Worst Summer Job” category!

(June 22, 2018)


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